Secret to a Successful Relationship?

Do you bring kindness and generosity; or contempt, criticism, and hostility,to Your relationship?

Are you constantly scanning your partner for what they are doing right? 
Or scanning them for what they are doing wrong and criticizing?
Versus respecting them and expressing appreciation?

It's kind of obvious when you think about it, and the data backs it up.

Scientific research of thousands of couples was conducted over long periods of time, since the 1970's, by hooking them up to the equivalent of lie detectors to monitor their blood flow, heart rate and sweat, and then monitoring them in their everyday interactions.

Those couples that are constant stressed out physiologically, waiting to attack, or be attacked, are doomed to failure. While those that feel calm and connected with each other have long lasting successful relationships.

Be kind and generous, always.

To your success,
Trevor Long


Read more: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/#ixzz3aMn5gvqy

A Vision Without A Strategy

A Vision without a Strategy is merely a Hallucination

~ Trevor Long

I’d rather have the ability to execute a small vision than the inability to execute a big vision.  There are way too many people with a big vision and no ability to execute; the world doesn't need another. ~ Topher Morrison

I'll Be Happy When...

I'll be happy when....

• I finish school
• I get into college/university
• I finish college/university
• I get a job
• I get promoted
• I find a partner
• We get married
• We get a  house
• We have a baby
• The kids go to school 
• The kids finish school
• The kids move out
• The house is paid off
• We top up the retirement fund
• I retire......

Don't wait till you achieve your goals to be happy...

Because, between NOW and when you reach your goals - is your LIFE.

Be Happy Now.

To your success,

Trevor Long

Procrastination - Good or Bad?

It's probably a good thing if you spend around 5% of your time procrastinating, or goofing off with Facebook or whatever. After all, all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy.

Most people don't even realize they are procrastinating until half the day is gone before they even get started on tasks that are going to take them towards their goals.

What is procrastination?

Most would say its doing something of little or no importance, instead of doing whats important, ya-di-ya-da.

What procrastination really is, is a sign that something is wrong.

Now you will probably not be consciously aware of what it is that's wrong, It's probably something completely unrelated. Maybe an aunt berated you for being too loud, a primary school teacher embarrassing you in class or friends making fun of you, or worse.

Bottom line is that procrastination is a bad feeling, and you have resistance to doing the task, because you just don't want that bad feeling any more.

Instead of doing something about that bad feeling, we try to make it go away, put a lid on it, bury it, or distract ourselves with something else.

Worst case you try to numb the bad feeling with alcohol, food or drugs.

On a lesser scale, we might numb ourselves with hours of mindless TV, or a good book. Perhaps we'll have endless phone calls or meetings with friends, or get into an argument with our spouse.

Or we'll do what we think is harmless, surfing the net, reading the news, Facebooking, online chatting, etc. But is it harmless, or is it robbing you of time and energy that could be put to good use?

Next time you are procrastinating, just STOP, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, what am I feeling?

It's likely to be an unpleasant sensation in the solar plexus region, but it could be anywhere. It's probably an I'm scared, or an I'm afraid, type of feeling.

And it's nothing to be ashamed of, we all have it in one form or another.

One of the coaches here at Get Centred can assist you with eliminating this feeling.

To your success,
Trevor Long

April Fools Planning

I'm not talking about planning your next April Fools prank.

Did you realize that one quarter of the year has just slipped past? 3 full months! How are you going on your goals for this year? Is it "Oh yeah!" or "Oh shoot!"

If it was the latter, then don't abandon all hope, the second best time to get going is now.

Let's start with your major goal for the year. What year is this?

Is it the year of getting fit, losing weight, finding that perfect partner, improving your relationship, getting to a new level in your business or career, or perhaps it's a house renovation, or an investment or educational goal. Whatever it is, just decide. Now I know you have lots of goals. Do this with your major 'theme for the year' goal first, then you can do it for all your other goals too.

The key to getting started is to take the first step.

Now where do you want to be in relation to this goal at the end of the year? Specifically. e.g. I want to weigh 75Kg. Let's say you weigh 90Kg now. You now have a start point and an end point.

Split that into 3, for each of the remaining quarters, and by the end of next quarter, the end of June, you'd need to be at 85Kg to be on track right? You see, this planning stuff is easy, just takes a little time in the beginning, its all fine tuning after that.

Now list 10 things, in general that you need to do to achieve that, eg. cut down on carbs & sugar, drink more water, take the stairs, etc.

How will you measure your progress? List the ways.

Who and what do you have access to, to assist you in achieving your goal?

How will you celebrate hitting this milestone?

Now rewrite your goal for 30th June. e.g. It is now on or before 30th June, and I weigh 85Kg. I know this is the case because I can see it on the scales, my partner tells me I'm looking good, and I feel great!

Now break the target down to one month, then one week, then list your daily actions that you are going to take to achieve your goals. Schedule in your workouts, plan your meals, etc.

At the end of each day review how you went. If you fell off the wagon, get back on again tomorrow.

Plan out each week in advance. At the end of the month, review where you are at, and plan out the next month.

If its working, keep doing it. If it's not working, do something different.

You don't become a success overnight, its small daily rituals that add up to success.

To your success,
Trevor Long

Lacking Energy, Motivation, Confidence?

Are you lacking in Energy, Motivation, or Confidence?

Or perhaps all three?!

Picture this, you've had a hard week at the office, and on the weekend you partner reminds you that the garage needs sorting, the spare room needs painting, visit the mother in law, or some other chore that you really don't want to do. You say "Honey, I've had a tough week, I'm tired, the boss is on my back, I'm really stressed out, I'm really not sure how to do that, I just want to chill out in front of the TV".

All of a sudden, your friend calls up and says he has a tee-off in one hour at the golf course, and they are missing one player, they'll be picking you up in 15 minutes.

And Bam! Just like that there is energy, motivation and a confident spring in your step, and you are waiting eagerly on the doorstep for your buddies to pick you up.

What happened? What made the difference?

If your goal, lets take painting the spare room as an example, is not aligned with your highest values, you procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate yourself (and your partner, boss, etc.).

If your goal is aligned with your highest values, then you get disciplined, focused and reliable.

You will always have time, energy, money, to achieve things that are aligned to your highest values.

You are inspired to do them. You don't need anyone to motivate you.

"But" I can hear you say, I really 'should', 'ought to', 'got to', paint the spare room. How do I get myself to be inspired to achieve this goal?

The answer is to simply link it to your highest values.

Painting the spare room may not be high on your values, but impressing the relatives that are visiting from overseas might be. Or getting the room ready for you new baby.

Once you have a good enough, reason or reasons WHY painting the room will align with your highest values, you will find the time, energy and a way to do it.

The goal then becomes something that's ON the way, rather than an obstacle that's IN the way.

To your success,
Trevor Long

How Long Does Motivation Last?

Unfortunately, not very long.

You go to a seminar, a conference, listen to a motivational speaker, or read a book, or listen to a motivational recording, , you become excited and motivated, pumped up and enthusiastic, but how long does that really last?

Unfortunately not very long. Most people lose their motivation within 2 - 3 days, and a week later they've gone back to their old levels of efficiency and accomplishments.

Sound familiar?

However, sometimes you run into someone that seems to be motivated all the time.

And I believe you know the kind of person I'm talking about. They have a great natural energy, always have a smile on their face, they seem to genuinely enjoy what they are doing. They are highly motivated people.

I don't think that happens by accident.

In fact, when I talk to such people, as I do at every opportunity, I find 2 things.

First, they are usually willing to share what works for them. (Hint - there are no "secrets to success", just ask successful people what they do, then do that. Don't change it, or put your own spin on it, just do it.

Second, they all have something they do on a regular basis, a ritual if you like.

We all have rituals.

Some wake up every morning, grab a coffee, and dread the coming day. Then they get home at night, grab a beer, and settle in for 4 or 5 hours of mind numbing TV.

Of course you would never do that, but what are your rituals, have you ever examined them?

Have you looked at them and said, this is working, and this is not, so I've got to change it now?

Perhaps you could look at your rituals now?

OK, but what are the successful people doing? Well, many things, some meditate, others visualise, others read their goals, or look at their vision boards, or say their affirmations, or plan their day-week-month-quarter-year, or work out, or take a walk in nature, or any number of things.

The key is to find out whats working, and do more of that, and find out whats not working, and change that.

And just in case you didn't get it, YOU need to MOTIVATE YOURSELF Every.Single.Day.

To your success,
Trevor Long